


A Forgotten Smile

by Angelle_wings



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Minor Character Death, Tales of Xillia 2 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 14:52:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10515978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelle_wings/pseuds/Angelle_wings
Summary: Memory is a quite fragile thing at a young age, so it's quite natural that Elle grew curious to seek those lost memories of the mother she has forgotten.





	

**Author's Note:**

> As usual I wanna give a big thanks to Kisara for helping me with this <3 (shes so awesome and honestly i never give her enough credit for helping me with everything BUT BELIEVE ME. YOU GOTTA CHECK HER STUFF OUT HERE ON AO3)
> 
> And now my thoughts: I love Lara, Victor and Elle a lot so I tried to write something quite bittersweet for my broken family :') I hope you enjoy it <3

Elle quietly sat cross-legged with her eyes transfixed on the flickering screen as the show she has been watching has come to an end, and the cheery theme played. It was just a part of her nightly routine; she would sit in her nightgown watching ‘Beach Brigade Sunscreen Rangers’ as I brushed her hair preparing her for bed. However tonight, the only source of the sound was the music playing and the quiet hisses of the brush stroking her golden locks, and it was unsettling; her enthusiastic voice wasn’t singing along to the theme. 

I paused the brushing and came to ask, “What’s wrong Elle? Did you not enjoy the episode tonight?”

Her eyes still fixated to the screen as the ending song died, she shook her head slowly. “No that’s not it… It was just… I didn’t understand this episode.”

Oh was that it? I continued to brush her hair once more and asked. “Oh? What is it you didn’t understand?”

Elle reached the remote and closed the television. “Daddy, did you watch the episode?”

Usually, I would be there to watch it with her to the end of the episode, but I couldn’t say the same this time. I had dish washing to do which made me lose track of time, and when I managed to complete that task, I came to discover that I misplaced her hair brush. Until I managed to find it the episode was at its end.

“No, I couldn’t say I watched it all.”  I shook my head.

“Basically… It was about making a gift.”  Elle started. ”All the children in the show have gathered together were busy helping their friend making a present for the birthday of his mother until it got stolen. But of course, the Beach Brigade Sunscreen Rangers found the bad guy and beat him up and returned the gift to the children.”

As she ended her summary, I came to notice she managed to grasp the whole story so… What exactly was it she didn’t understand?

“Well, that sounds like a good episode,” I responded.  “But I still don’t know what is it you don’t understand.”

“What I didn’t get is the mom part.” Elle replied, and as she mentioned the word ‘mom’, my fingers froze into place. I knew where that conversation was going, and yet, I was debating if I was ready or not. But Elle didn’t give me a chance to prepare and proceeded without a second thought. “ The young boy who got the gift stolen cried a lot…I don’t have a mom- I only have you daddy-  so I just thought why a mom was so important to him? But then I came to think... How it would be like with mommy here?”

A silence settled, ’mommy’. For the first time in years, I heard her utter that word and I was not expecting her mention tonight- certainly not in this manner I hadn’t- and yet I was unable to speak as a thousand needles formed in my throat.

The silence shattered with a sad laugh. “It feels so weird calling her mommy… I don’t even remember her face or how she looks… And yet here I am.”

None of what Elle has said was incorrect. Her mom had passed away when Elle was rather young. Back then, Elle watched me wide-eyed as I called her name- she wasn’t able to understand and grasp the concept of death, but she sensed something wrong with her mother when Lara seemed unable to wake up, and so she cried. Elle cried so much that she refused being taken away from her mother when it was time for burying her. It had taken her months before she came to be perky once more, but of course, Elle remembers not even a small fragment of her because, after all, she was too young. And it was only I who had remembered the events to this day… Only I.

“…Daddy, are you okay?” The girl stared at me; the awkward silence must have worried her.

“Y-yeah.” I attempted a smile. “I’m fine dear.”

Elle turned her head once more- she seem slightly unconvinced, but she didn’t pressure me to speak either. I continued with brushing once more, and I came to notice her silky golden brown hair and how long it has grown, not more than a couple of years ago it was as short as mine, but with every passing day, she has grown to become as beautiful as her mother. 

Finally, as I finished, I spoke up as a settled the brush on the table nearby. “Time for bed, Elle.”

However, Elle didn’t budge from her place, and she didn’t turn her head. Perhaps she didn’t listen? I repeated it once more. “Elle… it’s time for bed.”

She shook her head, puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms as if settling she have firmly made this her base. And when Elle crossed her arms I knew there was no point of arguing- I had to give in… Perhaps I was too soft.

Eventually, I accepted defeat and sighed. “What is it now, Elle?”

She didn’t speak, and instead, I felt a sudden warmth settling on my lap. Her long hair scattered against my lap, soft green eyes staring at me and she wore a mischievous smile- Elle has made my lap her bed, and with a whisper, she said, “I can’t go to sleep- I am too curious, and I need answers.”

I blinked. “About what? The episode?”

She shook her head slightly. “No… About Mommy- I barely knew her, but I am curious- what type of person was my mom?”

I knew there was no place for debate,  especially because of those keen sparkling eyes and her smile. She was too anticipated, and no matter how much I tried to get out of this, she would grab my hands and pull me right back in.

With a sigh, I said, “Her name was Lara…”

She giggled at managing to defeat me, and I continued, “The name ‘Lara’ means smile… And she always wore a wonderful smile… It is a lot like yours.”

The girl watched me fascinated eager for me to continue, and I did, “She looked as beautiful as you. And you had the same long hair- however, she tied hers in a ponytail most of the times. She is also as expressive as you- she would puff her cheeks a lot if she didn’t get what you wanted.”

“I do the same!” The girl exclaimed. She attempted to imitate her by fake-puffing her cheeks, and she managed a laugh out of me. 

I started to stroke her hand, and I grasped it,  “And hands as warm and soft as yours.”

She nodded as I continued to speak, the light in her eyes, however, didn’t die as I continued. I talked about how I had come to meet her, and how her smile has caught my eyes, how she came to love me and how I came to love her, our dates and silly little stuff of what her favorite sweets were. And here and there she would ask questions which opened new topics ‘Did mommy know how to cook?’ and ‘Was it love at first sight?’ And I responded to each question from the silliest to the biggest questions. And yet not a single trace of boredom showed on her face.

I never once dared set foot in memory lane- from a distance, it always looked so dark and cold. I despised it. But this time, Elle’s smile served as a torch and brightened our path, and her hand offered me warmth as I walked down this road with her. Remembering Lara’s smile had caused me to smile, remembering her failure in cooking has caused me to laugh and remembering the stubbornness that both she and daughter had embedded in them made me come and fall in love once more. Elle truly was her daughter.

Lara, where are you now? Are you up there watching us? Above the skies and clouds? Or are you perhaps somewhere nearby listening and laughing at us as we speak? Are you walking behind us down the path of memory lane? Have you been watching your daughter grow, smile and her glimmering eyes? She is our daughter, Elle. She is our hopes and dream.

Finally, I could see her body giving up on her. Slowly, Elle's eyes started to close, and her cheery voice was replaced with deep breaths as her body gave up on her. I stopped talking, and I gently placed her in my arms. In this pose, she seemed just like she was as a baby, defenseless and small and wore an innocent smile. I suppose even if she is growing she still is a baby in one way or another. Slowly and carefully, I carried the young girl towards her bedroom and turned the knob- I didn’t want to wake her up and finally, I settled her on the bed. But just as I gently tucked her eyes fluttered slightly open, and she yawned, “Did I nod off?”

I nodded, I had expected her to battle to me to hear more, but she had no more strength in her to do anything. Instead, she whispered with the little power she did have, “Daddy- let’s speak of mommy another time, but you know… I learned something today.”

“And what is that?” I asked. 

She murmured with a smile on her face, “That you miss and love mommy a lot don’t you?”

Her body gave up on her, and she entered once again a deep sleep, I stood watching her dumbfounded. ‘Love’ it’s a word I don’t often say other than to Elle nowadays. But I did dearly love her, every part of her- from her faults to her angelic smiles. Her laughs were the one who brightened my path in the darkest of nights, and her encouragement kept me moving forward on even the toughest roads. And even if Lara had left me alone in this dark world… She didn’t leave without the best of gifts: Elle.

I kneeled forward to kiss her goodnight, but as my lips touched her forehead, the tears I have I fought for so long had broken free and dripped on her rosy cheeks.  As I wiped the tears, I responded to her question, “Yes… I love her and miss her more than you can ever imagine.”


End file.
